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spike bullet September 2009 - Right Timing

What is Right Timing?
Wake up call 
Examples of Right Timing
Where are you in relation to what you want? 
Tips to find that perfect balance of the right thing at the right time
Resources (links, books, articles, the lighter side)

color bulletRight Timing: Learning to flow with the rhythm of life

What is "Right Timing"?

Allowing ourselves to flow with the river of life – easy does it – letting things move as they need to do at exactly the right time.  Not fighting an uphill battle to make life something it is not.

ALLOWING life to give us what we need.  BEING in exactly the right place at the right time.

Wake up Call

Today, as I woke up, I realized that my life is in a place of feeling very balanced, very smooth, very little stress and that things are happening according to a plan that is not necessarily what my own little brain is planning.  Yet, I’m feeling great and not at all "in control" of what is happening.  The amazing thing is that I’m also enjoying it.  It’s a brand new experience for me!

Normally, I feel stressed, pushing to get things done, done right and done "on time."  I always feel that I’m letting someone down if I can’t do what they want me to do when they want me to do it.

Last month, I took my computer into the shop for what I thought would be a minor repair.  While my computer was away, I had a chance to sit in my back yard for about 30 minutes and do absolutely nothing.  Nothing at all – just listening to the birds, to sound of gentle breeze in the trees, the muted sounds of neighbors and watching the squirrels playing along the top of the fence running from tree to tree.  

I could not remember the last time I had just stopped like that.  It was a "wake up call" for me that my life had gotten totally out of my control and was being run by all those demands that people asked of me and that I did without consciously thinking about whether it was something I wanted to do or not.

I was on a treadmill, running constantly and not even aware of it!  Does anyone else have that feeling – like being a squirrel caught in a spinning wheel without knowing how to get off?

Examples of Right Timing

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been getting lots of lessons and reminders about "right timing."

A few recent examples: Last week, I was invited to a wedding vow renewal and 10th anniversary party.  The invitation said it was from 6 – 10 PM. Thinking that I didn’t want to be too early, I left about 10 minutes before 6:00 with only about a 3-minute journey to the home of the anniversary couple.  I arrived just a few minutes before the wedding started.  They were very punctual!  I realized that was another lesson about right timing – trusting my own instincts to get me where I needed to be at exactly the right time.

About 2 months ago, I asked a friend for a referral for someone to do some repair work on my house.  I carried around the phone number for a few weeks.  Finally, one evening, I picked up the phone.  Amazingly, the person I was calling was only a few minutes away from my house and was able to come over and give me an estimate that evening.  Another reminder about right timing.

I had wanted to update one of my books for quite a while and never seemed to get around to it.  One day recently, I decided it was time.  Within a matter of hours, I was able to make the changes and get a proof copy of the book ordered.  I was amazed at how it all flowed like magic, and made note that it was simply the "right time" for that update to happen.

When I left the office recently, I got a voice mail from a friend who was struggling with how to terminate a contract. She asked if I could meet for dinner for some help.  I wasn’t able to reach her right away and didn’t want to head home because I live in the opposite direction from where she lives.  While I waited, I realized I had some rough notes in my car for a project that I had not had time to delve into.  I chose to use the time while I was waiting for her return call to work on that project – sitting outside on a very pleasant late afternoon, I was able to enjoy the weather, slow down, listen to the birds, feel the gentle breeze and spend some time gathering my thoughts on the project.  It was a very productive 30 minutes and very restful while I was working.  We did meet for dinner and were quickly able to work out a strategy for her to follow.  The entire event was unexpected for both of us and turned out to be very productive while being very easy.  That’s a great example of right timing and allowing things to unfold, rather than forcing them to happen.

I’ve had quite a few other similar things happen recently that reminded me that there is a time to push and fight for what we want, and there is also a "right time" when things will just flow easily — if only we are willing to allow that to happen.

How many times have you had meetings scheduled all day long and you were wishing you could catch up or work on some special project?  Did you notice one day that several meeting were cancelled?  And, that gave you time to work on that project or do something you didn’t think you’d be able to do?  Those are great examples of right timing.

About my computer: They never did figure out how to fix the problem after keeping it a week.  After much frustration, I finally realized that I could do what I needed to do a different way.  The result: I had to change.  The way I had done things before no longer worked no matter how much I tried to force it to work.  The computer technicians and I had tried every fix known to mankind and it still would not do what I wanted done in the way I used to do it!  The Universe was just not cooperating with my idea of the perfect plan — it seems that it had a plan of its own.

I know I’m not the only person who has ever had that experience!

Eventually, I decided to take a vacation from some of my obligations for the month of August and it has really been an amazing time of feeling truly balanced for the first time in many years.

Is anyone suffering because I’m not meeting their demands?  Actually, no.  Life is still going on without me and I’ve been able to accomplish some long-postponed things that I wanted to do for myself.  I am still doing the essential things.  I have given up just enough to give me some room for myself.

Our business motto "It’s time for new ways of doing business" has been with us for a very long time, yet the world is just coming to realize that the old ways of doing business are not working any more.  The "Great Recession" that we are just coming out of is a great example of old ways that worked at one time, and no longer work for today’s world.  We have to change and our business ways have to change.  And, that means that WE HAVE TO CHANGE also.  Like it or not.  Ready or not.

In our business, we’ve been "ahead of our time" quite a few times, which can be just as frustrating as trying to make things go the way we want.  It’s really nice to see that the rest of the world has caught up and we’re now "in sync" with what is happening all over the planet.

Where are you in relation to what you want?

  • What in your world is moving well as an example the right timing?
  • What is not working well for you?
  • Are you pushing too hard when people aren’t ready or a situation isn’t ready?  Are you trying to force something to happen rather than setting up a situation that will allow it to happen easily at the right time?
  • Are you frustrated because things are not working the way you want them to?
  • Have you considered whether what you want is really the right thing at the right time?
  • Could there be a different way to accomplish what you want?
  • Does it have to be done now or are there other things that need to happen so that it can fall into place easily?

Tips to find that perfect balance of the right thing at the right time

  • Recognize that there is a time for everything.  "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance . . ."
  • When planning a meeting or a project or a crucial conversation or a personal event, pay attention to how others react.  If they are resistant, acknowledge that maybe now is not the right time.
  • Pay attention to what needs to be done to get people ready to accept your proposal or your suggestions or your ideas or your plans, and allow time for people to adjust.
  • If you are feeling frustrated or judgmental, ask yourself what you really want.  Step back from your strong desire to push forward and see if you are just trying to control a situation that cannot be pushed.  Allow time to listen to yourself, your body and to others about whether the timing is right.  If it is not, give up the struggle for a while and do something else.
  • Practice listening to others, watching their body language, verbal clues and other signs about whether they are on the same wavelength as you are.  If they are not, try a different approach.  Or, maybe give up your position and see if you can change to adapt to the situation.
  • Organize your "to do" list using the A-B-C method. "A" items must be done today; "B" items are those that can wait a while or need more time. "C" items can wait until you are ready.  Most people will learn that there are really only a few "A" items.  Every day, decide what is most important and get those done first.  You will feel a burst of energy and a great sense of accomplishment.  Without organization, most people have a huge list of things they think they "should" do and find that most of them don’t get done.  Lots of things will eventually fall off your list if you prioritize.  Or, maybe you can delegate or hire someone else to handle some of them for you.  Be willing to let go of the stress of that huge "to do" list weighing on your mind.
  • Watch your reactions to changes or unexpected events.  If someone changes an appointment or a meeting, do you get angry?  Or, do you recognize that maybe something better is coming to replace that time slot.  Or, do you feel blessed not to have so much time committed and are able to use the time for something you want to do.
  • Some years ago, I took a workshop with José & Lena Stevens of Power Path Seminars.  We were asked to go out into nature and let nature talk to us.  I sat next to a mountain stream for a while and as I watched the water, I got the message that there are many ways in our life that we can be like the stream.  The water flowed easily in some places, went over rocks in other places, went around obstacles in other places.  Sometimes the water went fast, sometimes the water meandered slowly and sometimes it stood still.  I learned ‘to find the easy way’ when I got frustrated, just like the water.  If I couldn’t get what I wanted by rushing or pushing, I could slow down, go around an obstacle or over it or under it or wear it down.  I didn’t have to always push through it directly.
  • Take time to slow down and listen to nature about what it might want to tell you.  
  • Learn to find your own "easy way" in a situation that is frustrating you.
  • Start to notice "right timing" in your own life.  Pay attention to what you are doing that lets it be the right time and do more of that.
  • Notice what situations seem to fall apart when you push too hard.  Pay attention to how you can adjust and see if you can transform them into "right timing" situations that happen easily and effortlessly with everyone feeling good about them.
  • Practice, practice, practice to get better at right timing and allowing yourself to flow with the energy of the Universe that wants to carry you along to exactly the right place at the right time.
  • Be grateful for everything that comes your way - no matter whether it's what you think you want or not.  Gratitude is the secret to so many things.  

We wish you the perfect events at exactly the right time this month.  

  Internet Resources

book graphic  Books   -  Disclosure: We get a small commission for purchases made via links to Amazon.

world wide web - articles  Articles

Related newsletter articles:
    May 2007 - The Law of Attraction at Work
    May 2008 - Work-Life Balance
    September 2004 - Stress Busters:  Managing Stress in the Workplace
    July 2001 - Balancing Life and Work 
    May 2002 - Stress: How It Affects The Roles We Play
    October, 1997 - Power and Corporate Politics
    August 2009 - Finding Support During Challenging Times

smiley graphic  The Lighter Side  

There is no answer to any of these questions.  It's a matter of time and timing, of seas and seasons, of breathing in and breathing out.  It's a matter of balance 
Peter McWilliams.

There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.

... Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.”
   ... William Shakespeare - Julius Caesar 

Life is all about timing ... 
the unreachable becomes reachable, 
the unavailable become available, 
the unattainable ... attainable. 
Have the patience, wait it out. 
It's all about timing.
   ...  Stacey Charter

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
 ... Buddha

About our resource links:  We do not endorse or agree with all the beliefs in these links.   We do keep an open mind about different viewpoints and respect the ability of our readers to decide for themselves what is useful.

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